fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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