i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
