Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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