WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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