i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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