Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
