Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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