i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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