Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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