I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
