just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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