Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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