We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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