I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
