I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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