You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
