I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
