Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
