She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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