Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
