I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
