I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
