I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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