Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I touched a dick in church today
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
