oh god the rape fog is back!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
