im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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