Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
