You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize