I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
