He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
