is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
