i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
