Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
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we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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