filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
