Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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