Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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