maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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