SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
