I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I could fuck to npr.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
