hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
