I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
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They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize