Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
