I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
