U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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