I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
