last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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