And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
pray to the hookup gods
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
