i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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