Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
