Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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