Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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