Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
That accounts for only three of the penises
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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