Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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