Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
