i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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