So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
