Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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