I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
