But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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