Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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