can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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