so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
